My oh my, how MY things have changed

As I do at the end of every year, I reflected on 2015 to take stock of my life.  It gives me perspective of whether things were as bad or as good or as mediocre as I thought.  2015 was a strange year for me.  I had a lot of really big highs, but at the same time I had a lot of really big lows.  Most of the big knocks took place in the second half of the year, so looking back was a good way for me to notice that all in all, the year wasn’t all bad.  Usually I have a really rough year, or a really good year, or just an average year, but 2015 seemed to have almost all of that in one year.  One of the things I have been aware of  all the way throughout 2015 is how different my life is today compared to a couple of years ago.  Not only that, my life is changing away from the mainstream crowd and onto a journey which is against the stream and contentious in many ways.  There wasn’t one big decision in 2015 that caused a change.  It was a bunch of small decisions and small changes, similar to a row of dominoes, and as the first one fell it set the wheels in motion for each new change.  I can truly say that I prefer life this way, because I experience it as a life that is aligned to following my heart, even though I don’t necessarily know at each decision point which next path I will be lead to.  To get to this state, one of the biggest mindset changes I made in 2014 is to not think too far ahead, and to not be too set on my own way of what I think the road should look like to get to my desired outcome.  To be quite honest, I’m not 100% sure what my exact final outcome for my life is going to be.  I have one big overarching intention, and that is to live a life where I am in tune with Spirit and where I can spend every day enhancing this connection.  This is very different from 2014 where my life was directed by very hard and fast goals – monetary, fitness, career.  Now all I want is to be at peace with myself and the world, and to be happy.  Nothing more.  Now that you have a sense of how my end horizon has changed in life, let me tell you how the workings of my life has changed.

If I had to plot things on a timeline, it would follow a sequence that is something like this:

  1. My husband and I split up in 2014.  This is the only decision that I would say was a large one and a big catalyst for where my life is today.  I often wonder if I would have been able to change my life to be what it is now if I set my mind to it and worked on fixing my marriage.  My soul told me very otherwise, even then.  I didn’t realise back then it was my soul and heart directing me, but since I had this realisation I pay very deep attention to these two life partners and allow them to be my life compass.
  2. I did John Kehoe’s Initiation in 2014.  The reason I’m starting my timeline in 2014 is because most of my tools and small life decisions I learnt from the week I spent in his company.  This time and the lessons learnt guided me out of the slump of being another one of the divorcee statistics and learning to be happy, for no reason other than the every day miracles Mother Earth brings us.
  3. I learnt very quickly that I am able to manifest what I want in my life.  Towards the end of 2014 I had to look for a new place to live in a very short space of time.  I was fresh out of Initiation, so it was a good high to be on at that time.  And then early in 2015 we found what I now call home, or my farm.  If you told me beginning 2014 that I will not only realise a life long dream of getting out of the city, but that I would also be able to put together a deposit the size we had to get for our home, I would have laughed.  Handing things over to the universe and trusting in what it can do was my saving grace in this time.  The thing about learning to believe and trust in unseeing forces working for us, is that our thinking mind keeps mistrusting the process, especially if you have been living in the thinking mind for a large part of your life (which is very typical of our Western society).  So I have a couple of rhymes that I repeat to myself when doubts start creeping in that refocuses me on trusting and believing.
  4. So of course, through a lot of focus and trust, we moved into our home in 2015.  Country life is definitely something that makes my heart overflow with song and joy.  We are blessed to always be surrounded by bird song or night time crickets and frogs.  It is peaceful here and we truly have our own space.  The consistent awareness of people around you due to your neighbor living barely 25 meters away from you.  There are many things that fascinates me if I compare where we used to live to now.  The only one worth mentioning in this post is now that we live further from our neighbours, community has become more important – people here look out for each other.
  5. One of the biggest sellers of our farm was the vegetable garden.  I have always loved gardening, but now I garden with the aim to eat our fruit and vegetables from our own land.  I am extremely excited every time I cook a meal where all the vegetables on our plates come from my garden.  Gardening has brought me closer to Mother Earth.  I have always been connected to nature even as a child, my best trips was being out in the bushveld.  I notice how natures’ cycles work and I have learnt repeatedly that Mother Earth looks after everything for you if you just restore the balance that she requires.  It has also awakened and strengthened my spiritual connection and life.  She is a big teacher in my life, and nature has always brought me clarity and peace.  Now I have an environment where I can experience it every day.
  6. Because we are out in the sticks, we don’t have municipal rubbish pick up and need to pay for someone to come collect our trash on a weekly basis.  So I signed up on a zero waste blog to figure out ways of reducing our “trash footprint”.  I did this with the initial aim to just reduce costs and our waste, and because it is the environmentally friendly right thing to do.  But end 2015 I had a real wake up call about how detrimental we as humans are to the environment, and 2016 I will be finding ways to reduce even our recycling stacks.  We still use a lot of plastic, and we do recycle it, but it is a lot of unnecessary plastic.
  7. To become zero waste, you inherently have to start applying some minimalist thinking.  So my path lead me to a duo of gents called “The Minimalists” –  google it, you’ll find them, both with beautiful hair.  What struck me about this part of my life path, is that all of a sudden I was waking up to how commercialism is being pushed down our throats.  We are made to believe that bigger, better, faster, more expensive, latest trends, latest fads, latest technology, always being upgraded onto the newest and best will make us happy.  Truth be told, it makes us spend more money which most of us don’t have and we are forever struggling to make ends meet.  I have gradually started getting rid of things in my home and really evaluating if I am getting any value or need many of the things I have and thought I want in my life.  I have also been buying a lot less.  In 2015 I bought two items of clothing and two pairs of shoes in the whole year.  In previous years that could have almost been my monthly quota!

In between these small steps there were also some even smaller steps.  I started Djembe drumming to awaken my creative spirit.  It brings me peace and stillness, and I have made some really valuable friends who walk a journey of Souls too.  They have taught me so much and supported me in so many ways in my step by step journey into the unknown.

What lies ahead in 2016?  I don’t set goals anymore, but I do set intentions.  My first intention is to start making an income off my farm, second is to be more present in my day to day activities.  Keep your eyes posted, the proudest pumpkin mother in the world will be posting some pumpkins for sale soon!  Underlying these intentions there are two paths I already know I’ll be taking, although not sure exactly where they will lead.  One is to really go all out with “zero waste” in an aim to truly bring my bit to the environment, no longer because it is the right thing to do, but I truly carry this close to my heart.  The other is Permaculture, which is a way of restoring the environment back to it’s natural balance.  It is a way of farming and gardening and also living – go google it for now, I can only really write about it once I have started applying it.

Someone asked me recently why I am willing to go all out on generating zero waste, when me alone won’t make a difference.  That is probably true.  But hopefully my journey inspires people to do their own bit for the environment and their own lives.  More importantly, I am doing my bit because I believe in Karma.  What you give is what you get.  What I do know for sure is that if I look after Mother Earth, she looks after me in ways I could never imagine.