Showing Up

Leon and I did a workshop two weekends ago that teaches you how your programming about money influences your beliefs which effectively gives you the financial result you find yourself in today, and how to change it. There were two big phrases that caught my attention that weekend. The first one is showing up. The second one is that how you do anything, is how you do everything. The presenter, Doug, took us through a couple of processes and exercises to highlight what they label as our money blueprint, other processes that shine a light on beliefs you have created up to now and how these aren’t necessarily true for you. Some exercises we did in groups, some in pairs, some on our own. After each exercise he asked some volunteers from the group to share their experiences.

Leon and I did Harlequin and Chalice this year, which shines a spotlight on your life and we now have an awareness that equates to the brightness of Leon’s Jeep lights when they are on bright. The money workshop is not as in your face as Harlequin/Chalice, the group is far too big for this. This means that each participant must take ownership to get the most they can out of workshops like these. I guess the question with these kind of events is whether you poke at people to show them in their face why their life is the way it is, or whether you make it their own responsibility to do that. I made a point of coming to this workshop completely open, to empty my cup and have it filled with new information. Doug constantly harped on the fact that you can be right, or you can be rich. As I have heard before as well – you can be right, or you can win. You can be right, or you can be happy. You can use this phrase in so many ways, but effectively the first step to change is acknowledging that you don’t know. As aware as I was of the information given to us, I was aware of how other people showed up as well.

And this is where the penny dropped for me. When I look at the number of people that didn’t show up 110%, it is no surprise to me that there are so little people that have the life they desire. Let’s start with the two easiest and small habits we as humanity have. Firstly, being late. Never mind the fact that you are disrespectful to the speaker and your fellow participants, but how much respect do you have for yourself? Don’t you owe it to yourself to acknowledge that you have the potential to learn something from someone who walks his talk who can show you how much potential you have as well, and that by getting in early, you not only hear all he has to say, but also give yourself to settle in, disassociate yourself with the events that may or may have not distracted you on the way there, and just pat yourself on the back for taking the time to do something that may change your life. Secondly, switching off our always-ever on cellphones. And this is not only something we do at full weekend workshops, we do it at meetings, at social gatherings, all the time. How are you fully present when your attention is constantly distracted by your phone. I wonder if people are even aware how little some of us actually are fully present in anything anymore? We are splitting our attention between at least two, people, sometimes even more. In fact, without mobile devices you are already splitting your attention into two. The person you are interacting with, and the endless chatter of your brain. Now throw in your mother sending you messages, your best friend sharing her photos of the party you are missing out on, can you truly show up if you are diluting you’re attention to a fraction of what it could be?

These were the obvious tell-tales of people not showing up. Another way I observed it was when people gave their feedback. With all of the exercises we were given, you could really go pretty deep to get to a very low level of self insight. I get that by nature I am a very deep person, not all people are. I also get that even when I think I have gone as deep as I can go, I probably still have a number of levels to go to. But when people commit themselves to doing this kind of work, I would think they are at least going to try go one or two levels deeper than they have up to now. Some of the feedback that was given, and even when I interacted with people when we did the exercises, it was clear that some people either can’t see past the superficial, or are just not willing to go there. Dig dammit! No one achieves better results by doing things where they are at right now. Doing things the same way…different result…? If I could give a daily challenge, it would be for people to discover at least one new insight of themselves every day.

Here is why I am so passionate about it. Just hearing something about ourselves once is not going to make us change anything. From my experience, you need to hear it, have someone poke you with a stick until you see it yourself, then hear it again and with your new awareness of it constantly be reminded of it again and also remember that you forgot to try a different approach, get angry at someone because they pressed that button in you, again, and only after a couple of iterations of this will you start remembering to do things differently. And the only way to start this journey is by fully showing up.

The second phrase – how you do anything is how you do everything – takes showing up even further. If you come to places where you can change your life, and you wouldn’t be there if you weren’t meant to change your life, and you aren’t fully present, how do you show up in the rest of your life?

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