Know what you want

We communicated a decision in our department today that impacts a lot of people’s lives. I’ve known for the past week that we will do this, since this is when I had to start working on this. I have worried, had many a sleepless night and nightmares about this task. This morning I was distant to my husband and not really good at conversing with him, as could probably be expected. As I left the house I started thinking of my normal affirmations I say on the way to work, and decided to replace them with ones to deal with today.

This was the first time I actually asked myself what I would like the outcome of today to be. For the past week I knew today will be unpleasant, and hoped it won’t be too bad, but I have not once yet defined ‘too bad’ in my head. I know I cannot change the decision, or the impact it has on people’s lives, but I can definitely change how I deal with the situation and my actions to support and comfort my team.

What I eventually decided to affirm is not that relevant, but the point I would like to bring across is that we often go into events in our lives that we cannot change, and just hoping for the best. But do we know what ‘the best’ is to us? If we know what we would like the outcome or our impact should be, wouldn’t we be better equipped to deal with the situation?

Maybe this is one of the lessons I had to learn from today. By doing some more preparation up front, I can at least have a focus of what a better end-result could be, as opposed to one where I don’t even know what the light at the end of the tunnel could be. If I know this, I can at least dig into the right direction.

Today was not easy, and I have shed a couple of tears and had a throbbing headache on the way home. But my team didn’t take the news as bad as I thought it would be, and I definitely think I coped better and could say and do things better than if I didn’t know what a good outcome would be.


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