This post was inspired by the presenter on 94.7 6:30 this morning. He asked the question – “What lies do you tell yourself?”. This question runs much deeper than I think even the presenter realises. Ask the question and really think about it. When you tell yourself that tomorrow morning you are going to get up and go the gym, and then don’t. When you tell yourself that this is the last cigarette, but tomorrow you light another. When you tell yourself that tomorrow you’ll start your diet, but tomorrow lunch you have that piece of chocolate cake.
These are the superficial lies, but what lies down deeper underneath these lies. If your husband, partner, parent, friend, sibling, or anyone close to you tells you that they will come home early tonight to spend the time with you they’ve been neglecting for the past couple of weeks, and then they phone to say they cannot make it, how do you feel? Angry, disappointed, upset, hurt, lonely? So eventhough you might not feel the same emotion as deeply when you break your word to yourself, what happens in your subconscious?
Let’s take all the examples I used in the first paragraph, at some point your subconscious is going to start thinking that you can’t really achieve the things you tell yourself. What inner message and affirmation does that create, one of achievement, or one of not being true to your word? What happens the next time you set a goal or make yourself a promise. Our habits become habits because of constant repetition. Someone asked a similar question, we value integrity from other people A LOT. But what about our own integrity to ourselves? What about keeping our own word to ourselves? I know many people who cannot stand it when someone lies to them, to the extent that they’ll end a friendship, cut off a loved one when they find out they have lied to them. So when you say to yourself that this is the year you will achieve your goals, and the first time you don’t do the small action to keep going at the goal, do you cut yourself off from yourself?
Maybe instead of focusing on lies told to us by others, we should first re-examine the lies we tell ourselves. My approach would be to find the actions to firstly find out what lies you are telling yourself, and then the actions to start addressing them and breaking those habits.